Unfruitfulness brings demotion...

Ok, I know the title sounds kind of serious though...anyway, just want to blog about this though...

Today after usher, saw Xiu Wen talking to Jarrett, Gary, Hui Tong, Wei Siong. I guess it was maybe about some cgcs thing, so I went in, and I went in and found out that all 5 of us had been demoted...ok, sounds kind of sudden to some people, but to me, it wasn't...I expected it...just didn't know that it would come so soon...

Actually, reflecting about myself, I seriously never done much, ever since I became a cgc, I didn't really do much to be honest. A few times is I really don't know how to handle certain stuffs, the rest is I never really help out, yes I do, but not much...not much......

Saying that after hearing this I'm not sad at all is seriously talking nonsense, of course I'm sad, I'm still a normal human right, humans do have feelings, if I feel nothing after this, I can go die...but, have to move on though, after all, not being a cgc doesn't mean that you can't serve God right? You can help out in ministry, help out in cg in various ways you can, do other things other than holding a title and do nothing much...I was actually thinking and reflecting upon myself when I was on the LRT, what are the things that I should have do but not done yet...And I also have this thinking... Anyway, I'm not beaten down so easily...I will stand up and move on...

Maybe I'm not really suitable to become a leader in any areas for the time being...either I screw up or other issues, or maybe I'm just suitable to be following in the lead of others after all...well, I don't know, time will tell, and God will lead me...

Went to cut my hair to super short yesterday, didn't really expect my cg members to say that I look good in this haircut...hmm, haha, I was just expecting them to say I got another haircut again...lol...

Ok, I just want to really do reflecting...I don't know what seriously went wrong with me and my life...am I really taking things for granted? or am I just not good enough...I really don't know...seems like there's intense spiritual warfare tonight...